I’ve been so busy this week with work and art and being a lunatic in the middle of the night, and also busy avoiding the computer, that I’m completely behind on what everyone is doing. Today after a short work day (hopefully by noon) I am driving down for my sister-in-law’s baby shower. Drive eight hours Friday afternoon, baby shower Saturday/see my sister Saturday, drive eight hours back Sunday, work on Monday. I wish my husband could go with me, but he has important teacherly/writerly things to do. I also wish one of the dogs could go with me, or even Coltrane (who is currently using a remote control as a pillow, because she is weird), SOMEONE. However, my parents, who are Sooooooo Mean, told me that the pet(s) is(are) not invited, under any circumstances.
What I am trying to get to, is, I am behind on everything; I still love you; here are the questions for Friday. And I can not believe it is Friday already; I do not know where this week went; I don’t want to think about how many hours I spent agonizing over the hypothetical placement of a sink. Also: I do not know how I think of these questions. There is no method. I just think of things I would like to know about someone (you). They pop into my head during the week, or I dig around and pull them out at the last minute, such as when I am putting on my socks and shoes.
Tell me how you make a salad at a salad bar. Have we done this before: what are your favorite sheets? What are you doing this weekend? And here’s a tricky one, that I thought of last Saturday: what part of your face do you feel most self-conscious about?
This is how I make a salad: I start with a medium amount of lettuce, carefully choosing leaf by leaf if necessary to avoid anything brown or wilty. I prefer green peppers, cherry tomatoes, cucumbers, a tiny amount of cheese, four or five croutons, and huge heaps of those cold peas. If there are carrots and/or broccoli, I will put them on the side. I prefer a light amount of ranch, but if I am feeling crazy I will get fat-free Italian dressing. On top (always on TOP of the dressing) I like to put a healthy sprinkling of sunflower seeds. The sunflower seeds and peas are the best part. Sometimes I’ll use black olives, but usually only if other toppings are sparse. I shun all salad bar meats, except sometimes for a few pepperoni, if they are an option.
My favorite sheets are a super-cheap set of bright blue jersey t-shirt style sheets we got on sale the first day we moved here, so we’d have something to sleep on on the floor. They are sooooo soft, and so comfortable, and I don’t think we’ll ever go back to normal sheets again. The jersey sheets feel good. Sooo good.
I already told you what I am doing this weekend! So, now for the last part. Ahem. I have many facial things that I am embarrassed about, many little things that drive me crazy. But I’ll narrow it down to TWO, my two most awful and humiliating, so that you don’t have a reason not to share just ONE. First, I hate any form of my facial hair. Plucking and tweezing are annoying, and I’m allergic to waxing, and it’s all just painful and embarrassing. I feel that I’ve been battling my eyebrows since about sixth grade (that’s the first time I remember my mom and I deciding to Do Something About Them) and my dark hair combined with my pasty-pale complexion means that every little hair is super visible. I hate it, I am embarrassed about it, I worry about it more than I should. I am in awe of women who unabashedly get waxed in public at salons–before my last haircut a woman got her upper lip waxed in front of everyone, and then lifted her face and asked if her chin needed it too. AWE.
My other face issue is my teeth. First I dislike where my upper lip hits my gum line when I smile. Also, my teeth are large, and straight–thanks to braces–but I feel they are not white enough. And that spending money on whitening would be So Shallow and Selfish. Three or four of my teeth are chipped. Tiny chips, from an incident long long ago involving a mouthful of thrown gravel and also involving me not paying attention to where I was standing and also involving me with my mouth open, talking (imagine that). Few people probably notice them, but I know they are there want to hide them away. They are not fixable; there have been failed attempts in the past. And finally, one of my front two teeth is a hint darker than the other–again, probably only noticeable in certain lights if you are staring at my mouth, but I feel so self-conscious about it. I don’t want to smile with my teeth showing in photos; I want to cover my mouth with my hand when I laugh.
These things are silly.
It feels awful to admit them, but also sort of freeing.
Go! Cross your fingers that I don’t get driving sleepiness tomorrow, yes?
Kisses,
black sheeped
