I wasn’t sure how I would feel about this night. I’m keep glancing at the clock, and I feel panicked as each minute passes, but I know when the anniversary minute ticks silently by, the looming impossible one year mark, nothing will have changed. I don’t know how to express it, but this night is not what I expected. It’s incoherent and jumbled, it’s brown and red and gray and blue and green and black, and it seems like half-dried paint, muddy on a palette. Yellow ochre in gray murky water.
Love,
black sheeped
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May 28, 2009 at 9:58 pm
I am so sorry about this. I remember when you posted about it right after it happened and I can’t believe it’s already been a year. What a horrible, painful, messy thing to deal with. I hope that the anniversary at least helps you achieve a bit of… I don’t even know what. Peace? Closure? Something positive, anyway.
May 29, 2009 at 6:41 am
I’m sorry. Grieving is so hard. :-(
May 29, 2009 at 9:15 am
I am thinking of you, honey.
Love you.
May 29, 2009 at 4:47 pm
**hugs**
June 1, 2009 at 8:14 am
Hugs, many many hugs. And thought and vibes and all that good stuff.