Black Sheeped

If you’re wondering what’s been going on, the answers include, but are not limited to:

1)  I’m in the throes of crocheting my first crochet project, which is a (crooked) scarf for my husband.  Progress slows when Coltrane decides to nap on it.  When I say “nap on it,” I mean “embed her disgusting little cat hairs in it EVERYWHERE.”

2) Monk ate a large Led Zeppelin flag/wall hanging.  Off the wall.  He threw a lot of it up that day.  We thought things were okay, since he was eating/pooping.  But then he threw the rest of it up 9 days later.  Jut had to help by putting his hand into the dog’s vomiting mouth and pulling out the fabric.  I can not describe the stench of that soggy, dog-bile-covered mess.  My husband can:  “It smelled…like the inside of a dog.”

3) Oh, man, and the holidays.

4) And the blizzards and snow drifts and weather forecasts that said things like “high tomorrow, -6.”

5) My husband gave me a beginner violin for Christmas.  So far the experience has been terrifying/super fun.  Not too much squawking with the bow yet, as the books are focusing on plucking at first.  Coltrane is mystified and lurrrrves it.  We also brought a guitar back from the in-law Christmas, since it had been sitting, unplayed, for years.  I’m going to restring it and I’m pretty terrified of doing that.  (Maybe I’m terrified of stringed instruments in general.)  But I’m learning notes on it, and it is also SUPER FUN.  Now I just need someone who plays a jug and someone who plays the bass.

But, really.  I missed music.  I feel so cheerful after violin time.

6) The driver’s door on one of our cars does this awesome thing when it is below, say, 20 degrees.  Not only does it like to stay frozen shut (actually, all of the doors do), once it has been opened, it will not close.

Seriously.

7. In other cold snap news, we thought our pipes would freeze.  We took precautions and they didn’t.

8.  My mom gave us a Roku for Christmas and it is FABULOUS.  It seriously can replace cable.  And there are so many seasons of Coach available.  So many!

9.  I had to find a home for a stray dachshund that I rescued in Missouri a few months ago.  (LONG STORY.)  Short version: saw him on the highway out of my hometown, picked him up, dropped him off at my sister’s house (I was down visiting).  Couldn’t find a home down there, so I took him during our visit at Christmas to try to find a home up here.  While we were visiting the in-laws, Jut’s sister’s friend stopped by and MAGICALLY ADOPTED HIM.  It was a Christmas Dachshund Miracle.

That dog was adorable and nice.  I’m relieved.

10.  Monk ate an entire loaf of Sara Lee whole wheat bread.  Oh, wait, no.  He left one heel.  ONE HEEL.  Since his breed has a predisposition to bloat (where the stomach twists/flips), we were freaked out.  When we called the vet, they were concerned and told us there was a 50/50 chance he would be okay.  So we took him in and eft him (it was zero degrees, windy, snowy, and we were sharing the car with functioning doors on a mutual-but-very-short-lunch break) so the vet could induce vomiting and observe him.  I was a nervous wreck much of the afternoon, waiting for a call from the vet.  I had to go out to a job site, and when I got back, there was a note on my desk from the receptionist that the vet had called to tell me Monk had thrown up.

So, he was fine, but also, he is a dumbshit.  And so am I, because I left a grocery sack with bread in reach.  And everybody knows that bread is the most tempting of all the temptations.

Even more tempting than a flag that has been on the wall for ten months.

Love,

black sheeped